Aren't You Glad You're a Bomber?

thick bar handles
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You don’t take your bow to an empty field and randomly shoot arrows in the air, do you? You do! Well, so much for my brilliant analogy. Let me put it another way. When Tiger Woods steps onto the green and Ts his ball, a specific goal consumes his mind, doesn’t it? He chooses his club, addresses the ball, concentrates deeply and swings with just the right amount force and finesse to put the ball in the distant cup. Without the goal, he might just as well have used a baseball bat in place of a number nine, a Bocci ball in place of a golf ball, and beat the thing into the ground rather than seeking a hole-in-one or par for the course. He could have stayed home or made a commercial; it wouldn’t matter without the goal.

"Tiger beats Bocci ball into fairway with baseball bat at Pebble Beach. Fans cheer." What’s the world coming to? You’ve gotta have goals, Bombers -- big ones and small ones. That’s part of this week’s message. What are our goals?

Our goals are piled high like apple pie in the sky. Oh, my! (I studied under Dr. Seuss.) We train to get in shape and stay in shape, get healthy and stay healthy, lose fat and stay lean, get strong and stay strong. We exercise to improve our well being and impress our peers, overcome disabilities and diminish limitations, increase vigor and gain confidence, develop discipline and sharpen character, be more decisive and less divisive. The act itself, seeking admirable goals, makes us better people. We lift for the challenge, wellness, goodness, fun, diversion and fulfillment.

Isn’t it remarkable? I’m not inventing this stuff, these are not my imaginings, and I’m not even exaggerating. I’m stating some seldom-considered facts. Each item listed is true and right on, whether it’s a predetermined goal or not. If they aren’t on your list of training goals, add them -- free of charge. They belong there.

How about specific goals? You know, to win a contest, look slick at the beach, break a state powerlifting record, climb Mt. Fuji, scare your mother-in-law or rob a liquor store. I have one I’ve been toying around with for about 30 minutes.

I’m the Bomber and I’m shaped like a B-29. We, Laree and I, are running out of pictures of me to place on the website to accompany newsletters and articles. Those pics with my face superimposed on the bodies of Arnold, Jay Cutler and Reeves are stirring up a bit of suspicion among the more discerning readers and the last thing we need is to be busted. So, it’s back to the gym for this old cowboy and goodbye to my favorite fast food haunts. Gotta cut down on the booze and give up the smokes. So much for breakfast.

I just got the shivers and broke out in a cold sweat.

Time to get in shape for some dark, heavily shadowed, slightly out-of-focus photos of me in my layers of sweatshirts performing some after hours late-night exercises at the gym. Laree will be the secret camera person wearing fatigue cutoffs, combat boots and a psychedelic Jimmy Hendrix tee-shirt. We’ll work fast.

We have another idea we’d like to run by you -- you being the experts and all, and the only friends we’ve got. Secret camera-lady Laree gets a video camera and when no one’s looking, including me, she shoots me -- that is, tapes me -- as I go through my entire routine. No practice runs (who needs to practice what I’ve been doing since I was a child) and totally candid with a personal on-and-off dialogue to describe what I’m up to. This will be a reasonable mess with no apologies. Just the facts, ma'ame!

We’ll do four basic routines: 1) Chest, back and shoulders, 2) biceps and triceps, 3) legs, and 4) a whole-body combination. They’ll be edited to remove the excess, and the garbling and burping and falling and forgetting. We then offer the digital catastrophes for sale to lonely characters out there with no life whatsoever. How about this: We make a tape for the Draper Dungeon demonstrating its multiple uses, trick applications and quick apparatus conversions, plus a basic routine for home-training efficiency? Whadaya think? No need to respond, bombers, I’m sorta talkin’ to myself, as usual.

I’m an idea a minute.

The reason I shared these ambitious objectives in the middle of the newsletter is to make an important point. Goals become more understandable and real when they are envisioned and dwelled upon; they gain substance and structure and direction as they are imagined and examined. And no longer are they simply goals when you discuss them in tangible terms with friends; they become commitments under action awaiting the passage of needed time -- they are the real thing happening.

Your goals, objectives and purposes, when considered with honesty and passion, are truly inspiring. And the greater the consideration and passion, the greater the motivation and reality of accomplishment.

Got musclebuilding goals? (Please, don’t say no.) Make them work for you like the burly, handsome Clydesdale draft horses that pull brewery wagons stacked with kegs of beer across the countryside. They love to work and flex their muscles, strut and toss their heads, whinny and snort proudly. It’s the beer... I think they’re drunk.

In seeking my specific goal -- getting in shape for a picture shoot by the month’s end -- I shall do nothing different. I’ll allow the goal to sit in the driver’s seat and take control around the turns and up the slopes. I suspect training finesse and order and pace will increase as the target date approaches. My focus will subtly sharpen and my mood will rise with the added pitch of adrenalin. The menu will be the same, though an unconscious tightening will be applied. There will be no misplaced workouts, no temptation to risk injury, no far-fetched powerlifting, no devastation -- only sound, near-sane training.

Tracking down a special objective -- for a month, for a cause, I can do this. It’s fun and revealing and fortifying. It’s worthwhile. Goals are a must.

Of course, if your goals are far-fetched, unreasonable or silly, they will be costly and painful obstacles to your progress. They will cause you grief and disappointment; injury, lost confidence, confusion and apprehension. These are not the teammates you want hanging around your corner of the playground. You must experience them, however, to know them; and then you must eliminate them before they become troublesome thugs. Beat it, ya bums.

Above and beyond making goals, make smart goals, or realistic goals, as they’re called in success books: big ones or long-term goals and small ones or short-term goals. Zoom, zoom!

Ha. Someone out there’s rolling his eyes and thinking, "Right, Draper. Preparing videos and photo sessions at 63 are smart goals. Your advice is so... so... how does one describe it?... consistent... practical... brilliant."

There’s always a wiseguy.

A final thought: Folks without goals are aimless and lost. Though they might possess character and strengths, the absence of a solid goal allows their potentials to go untapped, undeveloped and unrealized. They wander about looking and acting foolish. They waste time with trivial distractions, accomplish nothing, develop bad habits and eventually get in trouble. Without a purpose a person sadly contracts laziness, an insidious sickness of the mind, body and will. They do the bare minimum to make it through the day and wonder why life is so unfair, dull and woeful. Apathy takes up residence in their flesh like an impoverished transient. Cynicism fills their voices.

I’m getting depressed.

Aren't you glad you're a bomber? You have smart and solid goals of assorted shapes and sizes in various stages of completion. You're constantly planning, applying, developing, advancing, enjoying, overcoming, discovering and growing. Occasionally you lose some ground, take a step back, slip up and fall down. Good for you. You had me worried there for a second. "How will they learn to get up?" I wondered. "When will they practice humility?"

A strong craft on a good journey is awesome.

God's speed... Dave Draper

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST

We have thick bar handles for sale, ironblasters. Break out the piggy bank, turn in those recyclable beer cans and plastic water bottles, beg for spare change at the mall and your favorite street corner, babysit, wash cars, search under the couch pillows -- you know the routine. When we have a vital cause we become very creative.

The Bomber Power Handles make lifting weights a breeze. You’ll grow muscles overnight. I carry one wherever I go just for the fun of it. Be the first one on your block to own all six of these knurled-steel beauties. Girls think they’re way-cool!

The Draper Dungeon is being powder coated as we speak. Stay tuned.

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