First Things First

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Weekly Wrap


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Wow! What a wild world: waterlogged and windblown, war weary and worrisome, whacky and wediculous. Wobbly worldwide wealth, weak and worsening: where’s the work, we wonder, what about wages; why, when, who?

Wait, wabbits! Wemember to wote wefore Wednesday.

In view of events and moods of recent days it’s superfluous, absurd and pointless (SAP) to offer a rocking routine to blast the shoulders and back. Instead, let’s apply all our might to the act and art of supporting each other as the earth beneath our feet spins out of control. The Red Cross, Salvation Army and Wounded Warriors come to mind.

My mom, dad, brothers and I rode the Asbury Park roller coaster one summer when I was a kid. It was the thrill of a lifetime. 

Because I can (I think), I’m off to the gym down the west coast of this precious land of plenty, providing the precarious earth does not perilously quake beneath my primed petrol pedal. These are the times when we realize the worth of our iron infatuation, beyond merely looking cute or pulling 16-wheelers with our teeth. Health, readiness and survivability top the list of our ferrous fortunes. Get fit, be fit and stay fit to meet the sudden and ongoing demands of life.

Hurricanes, floods, fires, earthquakes, tsunamis, drought, terrorism, politics, politicians.

Hello… Tethered on the tarmac for five weeks (the autumn storm, remember?) makes a bomber useless, vulnerable and troubled. Tires get soft, wings hang low, flaps flop, props drop.

This makes two workouts since we last yakked. I forced myself to walk every day during my recovery. Sheesh… I don’t walk well. I can fake it without a cane from here to there, but after hundred yards on the hoof I display signs of trouble. I stagger, collapse and go into spasms. Dead giveaway.

Designated walking has now become an important part of my training. It works, it’s healthy, it’s there. Our driveway is 100 yards long with a 10 percent grade and redwoods and deer and squirrels. The walk sucks, but I love the nature and goodness. I walk the trail two or three times a day (don’t laugh) and it all but annihilates me… clomp, ooph, gasp.

Rather, it adds substantially.

In the gym I wear a once-tight, now-baggy sweatshirt and my noble face, and walk intently from bench to rack to machine, my desperate hands grazing the well-placed equipment for sufficient support. “I’m cool, I’m cool!” Thankfully I’m among a bunch of bodybuilders and nobody notices me. The point of my excursion is to confront, push and pull, observe, survive and return home without major incident or making a fool of myself.

I’m still working on the latter. Getting tougher every day, amigos.

Workout One:

Kneeling rope tucks (25 reps) to seated pull-ins, or lat rows (6 reps) slowly supersetted with Hammer incline press (10 reps). Three supersets.

Seated alternate dumbbell curl (6-8 reps) supersetted with lying bent-bar triceps extensions (12-15 reps). Three supersets.

Home, James, and don’t spare the horses. I was a happy man this fine Sunday, thank God Almighty.

Workout Two:

Seated lat row (10 -12 reps) supersetted with the Hammer incline chest press (again?). Four (count ’em… four) supersets.

Single-arm cable crossovers with thrust. Four sets of 10 reps back and forth… them sliced and diced pecs is making me noivous. Threw in some calf stretching and freehand squats between the back and forth just to be absurd.

Seated alternate dumbbell curls (6-8 reps) supersetted with lying bent-bar triceps extensions (12-15 reps). Yes, again, only this time four supersets.

Home, Jimmy, and don’t spare the hogs. It’s Wednesday and I’m smiling.

None of this works well without focus and form, swell food and sound rest, righteous fear and wholesome doubt and an abundance of God’s grace.

What else is new?

I’ll leave that to Laree, The Fixer. She’s my fav.

Dave

One last note, dear ironheaded friends: I have not responded to the email I've received over the past six weeks. Bad Dave. I’m weary, overwhelmed and cheesy. Fourteen were spam, one wanted Larry Scott’s address, another sought a refund for Joe Weider’s Crash Weight Formula #7, two wanted me to send more money to the Nigerian Orphans’ Fund and several were notices regarding overdue mortgage payments, unpaid taxes, repossessions and foreclosures, whatever they are.

I'll get things in order this week. I promise.

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