Just Get There
This is the front cover of our new DVD
Gray Cook: FMS, Applying the Model
Download the full Draper here newsletter
in printable, live-link, pdf format, here.
It’s Sunday afternoon and the gym’s serene call echoes in my ear. “Clank, Thud. Get your butt here now or pay big time, Chump! Clunk, Thump.” It’s nice to be wanted. What could be more delightful than curling up with a knurly Olympic bar and a pair of battered dumbbells on a rigid incline bench in the middle of chilly December? I think I’m in love.
Of course I don’t have to go gymward if I don’t wish. Yeah, right! Should I choose not to attend the Weight Room and engage the iron forthwith, I will be slowly and surely reduced to mush. Mush sucks. The merciless mushing process starts at the cerebral cortex and works its way down the spine to the midsection, obliques and butt and eventually invades the extremities, including the guns and thunder-thighs.
… at this point a loud screeching sound of a tormented beast emanates from the bowels of the computer…
Pardon me, comrades in muscle. I must ready my gear, the hour has arrived. The metal grows restless. The steel longs for my grip. The iron awaits my reassuring presence. Hoist, tug and shift I must. Off to the gym I go.
Check list: Instructions, water, Bomber Blend, wraps, chalk, smelling salts, tunes, beerskees (joking), iPod, GPS, oxygen, defibrillator, first aid kit, paramedics, spotter, lighting, make-up, teleprompter, film crew, cheerleaders, marching band, caterers, manager/Laree.
I don’t need no stinking teleprompter!
The truth is, the less preparation I make before my workout, the better. ‘Just get there’ has become my slogan -- short, to the point and easy to remember. I enter the gym slightly startled and out of breath and plop on the nearest bench. After a brief survey of the premises, I identify where I am and determine what to do. Work out, Draper -- whatever moves and doesn’t hurt.
It’s become so simple.
Not exactly. I am currently perplexed. Considering my ailments, conditions, limitations, injuries, instabilities, shortcomings, aberrations, misfortunes, afflictions, slick agility and stunning good looks, should I train intensely two times a week or moderately for three? I’m currently on the two-day plan, Sunday and Wednesday, and ‘intensely’ seems a bit much…
His final words were, “One more rep.”
Yet my three-day plan is foiled again and again before installation because I cannot release my desperate grip on the iron until the last repetition of every set is forced out and I’m dizzy, gasping, staggering and my joints are red and swollen.
Really. The last 12 words above describe precisely my condition upon entering the gym every Sunday and Wednesday after a night’s sleep, a cold shower and a hot lunch and sizzling words of encouragement from Laree. Go get ‘em, Tiger.
The time for moderation has arrived. It’s not as if hypertrophy is the primary purpose of my training and the resulting production of hefty muscle mass is my goal. The Mr. Over-69 contest will have to be re-thunk, lad.
Training is loving refreshment and each set is a hug, every rep a squeeze, the entire workout an extension of life.
My focus should be to stimulate existing muscle, preserve the vital function of my joints and avoid overloading my handy internal organs. Incidentally, the demonstration of kindness to the strained, stressed and dazed personality in charge of operations requires demands -- primary attention as well.
Why didn’t I think of this years ago? Perhaps I’d have hair.
The Six Lean and Mean Commandments:
I shall grasp a handful of exercises from my brown bag, toss them on the floor and perform them with intuitive order, prudence in pace and sensible force -- 80% of max sounds about right.
I shall reengage my mind at the outset with imagery, declaring moderation, wellbeing and longevity; joy of movement, freedom from mental and physical misery, and fulfillment of athletic playfulness and prowess.
I shall approach the iron playground (wreckreation center) with a smile of anticipation.
I shall stand tall and walk steadfastly, lift with sureness and repeat with certainty.
I shall exit with a smile of contentment.
I shall never quit.
“He’s cracking up. He’ll never last. He hasn’t the courage, the will, the commonsense, the savoir faire.”
I hear you, my dandy cohorts. I share your doubts. Who can we trust these days? The world’s out of whack, the government’s out of integrity, the banks are out of money, the cities are out of jobs, the culture is out of morals, the music’s out of tune. But the gym, the garage, the spare bedroom are full of iron. I cannot resist taking advantage of the abundance. I’m greedy and slavatious.
New International Dictionary: Slavatious adorably cunning and obsessed; winsomely driven to vicious success.
Possible spontaneous explosions (PSEs):
Day 1)
Rope tucks (4 x 25 reps) with seated rope rows (4 x 6 reps), steep incline dumbbell press supersetted with stiff-arm pullover (4 x 12, 10, 8, 6 reps), one-arm lateral raise (4 x 8 -10 reps)
Day 2)
Hanging Leg raise (4 x 15-20 reps), leg press (3 x 15 reps), wrist curl s/s pulley pushdown (4 x 12-15 reps)
Day 3)
Rope tucks (same as above), Smith press s/s wide-grip pulldown (3 x 12, 10, 8reps), standing barbell curl s/s lying triceps extension (3 x 12, 10, 8 reps)
I call them Embarrassments.
80% max. No forced reps, no anguish, no gasping, no collapsing, no CSI, CPR, ER, ICU… no smoking.
If I endure my sensible training escapades (STEs), you’ll be the first to know.
Bombs away… David the Devastator
Tis the Season… Rejoice in the Lord
***
Laree has just completed the courageous, outrageous undertaking of compiling, editing and publishing Gray Cook’s 2011 workshop they filmed in Long Beach last August. The finished material, three months in the making, is on the way here tomorrow.
I was witness to the events. Stunning!
Stacks of the 4-DVD information wellspring -- Functional Movement Systems: Applying the Model to Real Life Examples -- will be on hand inside of two weeks and available to earnest athletes, trainers and coaches shortly thereafter.
Bombs Away. Clink… clank…
You know me: Give me one barbell, two dumbbells, a four-legged bench and a dimly lit corner and I’m in heavy-heaven. Push, pull, pick up, put down, pluck, pound, pummel and press… ponder and perceive. If it hurts, stop. Or, more likely, if you’re an authentic ironhead… duh... like me, work around it, through it, over and under it. Heft, hoist and heave some more.
Crazy, man. Ask Sandow, John Grimek, Reg Park or Zabo.
Not Gray and his brand of wise and wary warriors. If it hurts, find out why and fix it before it immobilizes, breaks, ruins and otherwise kills you… through observation and application of Functional Movement Screening. Sounds sensible, because it is. Sounds smart, simple and strategic because it is. Furthermore, the straight-forward methodology works. Seriously.
I might be an old dog, but I’m learning new tricks daily. Check it out: Gray Cook, Functional Movement Systems, Applying the Model.
---
Gray Cook's Movement—now out in paperback!
---
Take a trip over to our
New Musclebuilding Q&A Blog
... where Dave allows us a peek into his email outbox.
Did you sign up for Dave's expanded email yet?
It's free, motivating and priceless!
We'll also send you a link to Dave's free
Body Revival Tips and Hints e-report with your confirmation notice.