Musclebuilding Research and Study
Photo of Dave for AARP
Taken September 2006 by Michael Kelley
Sometimes I sense I should be focusing my attention on matters more urgent and critical than shaping muscles and lifting weights over my head.
Take a sharp knife and cut the world in half. What do you see? It’s a bit of a mess, isn’t it? I feel compelled by duty and compassion to list the disturbances the planet and its inhabitants are suffering, most of them by the hands of you and me and our neighbors, but this would be off-topic and as welcome as lice. The one thing we can do in keeping with our mission, however, is contribute to the prevention of further destruction by attending our own house and backyard.
We know life is unfair. Power, greed and conceit shadow the humble and virtuous. The few have much and the many have little. The world produces nukes and nuts, terrorists and genocide, drive-bys and AIDS and cancer and politicians. We look and listen, but we don’t see and hear.
We could go on and on about imbalances and injustices like a beam of light into the darkness, a wave of sound into the silence, but why? Let’s save our energy and passion for the deeds wherein results are most forthcoming. Silence your TV and cell phone, and dare not drop your coins in the sugar-popping vending machine. Put on your sneakers and workout gear and head for the gym down the street, in the garage or at the park. Should you pass someone along the way, smile and say, “I’m gonna workout.”
I almost suggested, “I’m gonna blast it,” but in my town they’d dial 911 and you’d be surrounded by a SWAT team and Homeland Security. “Get down on the ground... Now!”
Working out is exactly that, working out our muscles and energies and health-based desires. Moreover, exercise works out our stresses, our insecurities, our inhibitions and our fears. Our workouts, our bouts with the iron, clarify our minds, strengthen our backs, heal our wounds and direct us in ways that are dependable and correct. Ample, powerful and well-contoured muscles happen along the way.
In a recent experiment, I took a handful of terrorist volunteers and engaged them in the rigors of weightlifting to build muscle and might. I had them eat right (lots of protein and fresh whole foods regularly) and train according to a basic four-day split routine, including supersets and moderate aerobics. After completing 12 weeks of exhilarating workouts, they set out to continue their lives.
The terrorists, a total of 12 in number, agreed to on-going monitoring. When they were requested by their former associates to strap on explosive-packed vests, each refused, saying they were not going to wear no stinking vest over their muscular, well-formed pectoral muscles. Some said, “I don’t think so, Bub” -- they were busy preparing their high protein meals -- while others exclaimed it was shoulder-and-arm day or whatever, and their training partners were waiting for them at the gym. Three of the group were studying for personal training certificates and declined further cell functions. One guy joined the Marines and was leaving for boot camp. Bible study absorbed several of the fellows and two were engaged to be married, and now work for the city fire and police departments. Most of the gang meets every Saturday morning at the Denny’s for the Chamber of Commerce’s weekly pancake breakfast.
Working out extends one’s life and makes life worth living.
I did another study in which I mixed six Democrats with six Republicans. Talk about being terrified. We embarked upon the 12-week program, and so on and so forth... Someday we’ll review the results of that interesting study in detail. Essentially, the men and women became deeply engaged in their workouts, combined their talents and formed a unified assembly. Today, they travel the world as one, giving seminars at high schools and colleges introducing both musclebuilding and character-building techniques to our youth. Vigorous physical fitness classes are established in the institutions and junk-spewing vending machines are removed from the premises. The team is simply known as people for a strong, courageous and united America.
Weight training commits us and unites us in life-building pursuits.
There was the six-man-and-six-woman experiment. At first the men showed up late and the women left early, but eventually they got together for intense and consistent workouts and grew strong and healthy and married each other and had beautiful kids and lived happily ever after... end of story.
Genuine exercise is a love affair.
Work out and eat right, why doesn’t everyone do it? That’s the question we who have trained for more than about 12 weeks ask. I can understand why one might not train for competition. It’s tough, full of sacrifice and the motivation is very specific, very personal. It’s not exactly healthy for the contender or the dear folks around him or her. Possibly worse, financial remuneration is in the neighborhood of zero. I ain’t no snob, but that’s a crummy neighborhood.
It’s also obvious -- I strain to imagine -- that not everyone wants or needs a 19-inch arm or a 350-pound bench press. These are monstrous commitments and can be foolish obsessions -- unless, of course, you’re like me and my neat, highly stimulated friends. Then it’s, like, cool.
But to look and feel good; to be trim and strong; to be energetic and conditioned, these are a delight. There’s not a single person -- here or there, male or female, young or old, left or right, black, white, grey or brown -- who doesn’t covet vibrant health and fitness. And they’re not peculiar or overly dramatic. They’re alive and quite normal.
Why, then, do some tumble like dear possessions in a landslide and find themselves overweight, physically limited and moving toward continuing disaster? In spite of their inherent goodness and grand potential, that slice of the masses is in deep trouble, and that trouble is pervasive and contagious. There are crimes against man being committed every moment and few are as insidious as those we perpetrate against ourselves.
Undeveloped personal responsibility! Lack of respect! Apathy!
What the ordinary citizen needs to improve his or her life spectacularly is extraordinarily simple. Live life with vigor and gratitude. Exercise and eat right with purpose and enthusiasm.
Atrocititus once said while playing the cello, “Living life without vigor and gratitude is as close to death as one may be without one’s heart ceasing to beat.”
You’re generous in your criticism (sarcasm and scorn), Bomber, but mute when offering a specific solution, a fix to the problem. Take a hike!
That’s a good start, but I was thinking of something more in line with the four-day split I designed for my experimental groups. It’s simple enough for the long-absent trainee, and advanced enough for the hardcore iron devotee who was born before the first Rolling Stones concert.
Goes like this with various exercise combinations and degrees of intensity, depending on the lifter, his level and his goals (some version of the routine was first practiced at sea on Noah’s ark):
Day one) Chest, back and shoulders
Day two) Biceps, triceps and forearms
Day three) Thighs and calves
Day four) Rest
Day five) A freestyle routine designed to work the whole body, or a routine to work specific preferential areas, or a routine to engage power, or a routine to experiment and have well-deserved and rewarding fun
Days six and seven) Rest
Day two and day three may be swapped, giving rest between upper body workouts, rather than the double-day overload.
The lifter returning to the gym after a long layoff might consider one basic exercise for each muscle group, easing into two sets of 10 reps of each exercise with light-to-moderate weight. The objective is to get the feel of the iron and your body’s presence... get the ball rolling, as they say in bowling. Work up to three and four sets of 8 to 10 reps and start your slow climb in exerting real effort, or muscle intensity. Hard work works.
The seasoned and conditioned lifter can choose two and three exercises per muscle group, three to five sets of 12, 10, 8, 6 reps with increasing weight per set. Supersets are my favorite methodology, for interest and growth.
The fourth of the four workouts is always a blast, as it’s the last day of the work week, and the free workout to express yourself as you please. Let the instincts flow and don’t worry about specific routine. Think, feel, let the momentum build, observe and go and grow.
Aerobic activity (15 to 20 minutes) and midsection exercise can be distributed throughout the week, two or three of each on training days or off-days is commendable.
Of course, training consists of hard workouts accompanied by lotsa water, frequent small meals of high protein and whole fresh foods, Bomber Blend before and after your workout and your Super Spectrim vitamins regularly. No junk!
Train consistently, confidently and vigorously. Stand back and watch out, bombers, ya gonna explode.
Incoming aircraft. No loitering on the runway, please.
Later... DD----
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