may be gone, but it's not forgotten, a powerful year in the lives
of all of us. Who will ever forget it; the tragedy and the unity,
the awareness of division and a world made small; the fear, hate
and love? Since it has been, so it is the way it is meant to be.
I'm sorry, yet I believe we've grown.
are, too, the marriages and the sweet babies born, the graduations,
promotions and awards; the successes and wins, the winnings, the
new careers, cars and homes; the sunrises and promise of more --
The muscle gained and the fat lost and don't forget the encouragement
and profound advice.
toss out advice like baseballs on opening day. I throw fastballs,
curves, a sloppy change of pace and the infamous looptyloop. About
once a year I tell everyone to eat tuna and drink water -- only
-- in an attempt to get their attention. Seems this pre-contest
hardening technique is the latest craze of the IronOnline hardballs.
That is, it's driving them crazy. They have crazy questions, doubts
and vacant stares.
exactly is it you don't understand about tuna and water, anyway
fire and ice? Here at the Draper Research Clinic, our multi-level
facility spread over three acres of verdant central California (rickety
shed with a loft built on a hillside threatened by mudslides with
a latrine twenty yards downwind), the studies go on. "Tuna
and water" is a training technique practiced to break bad habits
and force the trainee into new controls, like short-stepping a boxer
with cords to his ankles to prevent him from flat footing in the
and water" also serves to clean the dietary slate, pause the
eating-gone-sloppy, provide the internal system with healthful,
uncomplicated ingredients, drop the carb and fat calories while
maintaining the protein, allow the hormones and enzymes to settle
down and generally rid the mind and body of the noise, clutter and
clatter -- the kaleidoscope of food, food and food. Very scientific.
The intrigue, the challenge and the hope the diet technique provides
are perhaps the most substantial advantages. It's simplicity and
absurdities are attractive.
those in the dark, the rather entertaining and fulfilling scheme
goes like this: You are going to eat tuna and water for three straight
days. Choose your starting day. Psyche up. You'll be consuming water
by the jugs -- at least two quarts a day -- and one to one-and-a-half
grams of protein per pound of bodyweight in six equal servings throughout
the day. Back this with your vitamins and minerals morning and night,
eight capsules of branch-chain amino acids (key muscle building
protein) before and after your workouts and a nightly portion of
Metamucil for fiber. Sitting in a lotus position and inhaling through
the nostrils and exhaling through the mouth is optional.
in the week, as the pop-top cans pile up in the kitchen corner,
bring in chicken, low-fat cottage cheese, salad and your favorite
steamed vegetable to fortify your menu without expanding it significantly.
Add slowly to your food intake seeking the food balance that works
for you. I push the 40-30-30 ratio (protein, carbohydrate, fat)
to accommodate most systems and needs. You're fueling the body and
feeding the muscle.
220 pounds my protein goal is 220 to 330 grams (7 to 10 3.5-ounce
Oh boy), which provides approximately 900 to 1320 calories
way low on the energy scale. Someone (the researcher, the intellect,
the conformist) will declare that this starving tactic causes hoarding
of calories and muscle will be sought as fuel. I counter.
and considering your source of information -- me -- you can expect
that I excuse my rather broad application of science, numbers, details
as minutia, justifying, rationalizing, confusing and assuring the
reader their system will adapt and provide the missing calories
from stored fat while sparing the muscle. I believe this is so if
the body is upright and conditioned, in deference to upside-down
and unconditioned. A body reasonably well introduced to the anabolic
state (trained) can endure and prosper from this aggressive diet-training
approach for a limited term. The unconditioned new trainer, under-muscled
and fat, can no doubt use the novel protein influx and appreciate
the blast of discipline. There's tons of room for the scientist
to argue and turn me inside-out, but there is something in application
that rubs gallantly against science on special occasions.
and exercise lightly to accommodate a temporary low-calorie strength
loss. Press on as the body adapts and as you become familiar and
confident. This is a rigid practice to test your resolve. Follow
the frequent meal placement practice, adding fresh-squeezed lemon,
balsamic vinegar, Tabasco sauce or salsa to the main curse
I mean, main course
for culinary delight.
a delightful bedtime snack: tuna from the can, scoop of cottage
cheese and cool, clear water. Combine this with some of the body's
naturally released growth hormone during your deep sleep and presto:
a pile of shapely muscle.
you must (for any one of a thousand reasons), substitute a small
water and protein powder drink as your pre-workout and post-workout
meals. And, here's a dandy secret you'll really be thankful for;
at your favorite market, pick up Lighthouse Fish Steaks in three-ounce
pop-top sardine cans. These little treats expand the diet giving
it an adventurous dimension.
note as I generously broaden the margins of the "tuna and water
diet" that I may be getting old.
to 2002 and all that we make it by the grace of God.
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