The cast of characters above play the starring roles in the original drama of bodybuilding. Today, as eager physical culturists, we watch the barbell soaps, hardbody sitcoms, muscular sci-fi's and mostly the "get huge fast" commercials. We propose confounding questions, each with a dozen equivocal answers. These we ponder as we enter the gym, confused, spent and beleaguered. Who am I, and what am I doing here?

Ignore for a minute, able as you are, the enormous pressure of information and data. Chances are good should you be locked in a garage full of weights you'll come out built. Or if you're stranded on an un-inhabited island, you'll look for a place to do chins and dips and rock lifts. You'll build the best bod on the island. The only thing to stop this from happening would be if you found a couple of books that told you "How To Do It."

Again, I love the web and thank God for Laree and you. I want to help, yet, sometime fear that I may neglect that endeavor by not providing enough new and good information. We beg for reports, studies and statistics. Indeed, from this there is at least one magnificent benefit. As I read the journals, muscle mags and prolific master-blaster encyclopedias, as I glean through the stacks of facts to pass on to you, I am assured of a deep muscular pump in my traps. With each page I turn, I take a deep breath and shrug my shoulders with a full range of motion and say wistfully, "so what?" Depending on the quantity of the reading material, the reps can really add up.

You will receive post-haste my documented 30 page report with questionnaires and summaries and proposals on "why we need to read less, research less and train more with intensity and focus, when we can find the time, if we're still interested," available only in Latin. Should you wish to sign up for Laree's free 100-page speed reading course, complete with diagrams, check here. (Joke.)

In the meantime, here's a mini-W/O to keep you busy.

• Smith press behind neck, followed by
  
• Reverse grip pulldowns, followed by
  
• Machine dips, followed by
  
• Bent over lateral raises

I'd tell you how and why to do this, but who am I to spoil a good thing?