This would take a little more explanation if it was an online thing, training a person online, and not in person. I'll try to write it as if I was myself, with the kind of humor I use. It's not The Ten Commandments original writ on stone version here. It's lifting weights and actually
enjoying it. Do people still do that?
And I'll be making tweaks for the month I'm using this layout. Making the thing clearer for someone who doesn't know all that much yet.
Okay then . . .
Monday/Wednesday/Friday
or any other three nonconsecutive days:
First, take a few minutes to get everything else out of your head. Settle. Get to know yourself and forget everyone else. Forget everything outside lifting that might be on your little plate of life for now. None of it's going to change in the hour or so this will take. Then,
Very Light Bodyweight Warmup. Move around a bit, wave your arms, bend over, lift your legs, rise up on your toes. That kinda thing. Barely walking age children know how to do this. No need for a three DVD set here at all.
Warmup With Naked Bar – press, row, various deadlift forms, various squat forms, pushups. Piddle about for two or three minutes, it's not a big deal. Just get used to the bar, holding it, pushing it, pulling it, squatting with it on your back.
BIG BIT OF A NOTE HERE:
If you aren't familiar with any of these exercises just by seeing their name, it may be too soon for you to start in on this course. If you've already done a few months of "introductory" lifting that wasn't machine based and still are having trouble connecting the symbolic name of the exercise with the physical performance of it, just Google the name and look for the sanest, shortest, least advert-laden video of the thing. And for your own safety have someone hide your wallet before you do that. Wait a minute now. It's a
thing? The thing itself is a
living thing in reality, the
lift is a
living thing and you breathe life into it, of course, but how 'bout the name of the lift? Is that too a living thing waiting for you to breathe life into it. Points to ponder on those off days, for certain. Points that may lead to even more than nailing yourself onto some cross of uncertainty over your diet or your training layout!
Okay, enuff-a that nano-sense. Here's an example, no matter how much I really don't want to use any video or photos with this course adaptation.
Snatch Drop a.k.a. Drop Snatch -
The first video that pops up magically when you Google that name is this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQrcCmgraa8
It's from Catalyst Athletics so you can't go wrong.
Actually, this might come in handy down the road:
https://www.catalystathletics.com/exercises/
Just don't start adding more to the layout, eh.
Dislocates. Use one of those silly stretch bands if you have to at first. But get to a broomstick or unloaded regular bar when you're good for it. Work on bringing your hands closer together over time and don't be impatient with that.
The Three-Positions, with Snatch Grip: Power Position -> Back Bend -> Knee Bend This would take some explaining. Get all three positions very solid and natural feeling. Start with it in your mind and learn it in your body.
This needs more esplaining, Lucy.
Overhead Squat. Just do it for a while. Get used to doing it. Go lower as you go along over time. Stay down in the bottom on some reps and get used to sitting there with the weight of the bar overhead firmly. Get stronger on it, but don’t be concerned only with the weight on the bar. That ain't it right now, not what you're after. Get Used To Having The Weighted Bar Overhead In A Sweet And Solid Position. Put some cash aside, over time if that's your money situation, for some weightlifting shoes. You don't need anything fancy. Don't be afraid of dropping the bar, just don't let it land on your head. If you drop it properly and lift at home you might be able to save money on pet food and get them shoes sooner! You may need to have X-rays of yourself taken in the bottom, middle, and top positions just to be sure you're 'correct' - a friend can help you with that. Post those X-rays all over the place online and ask for a form check endlessly, and please don't ever talk to me again. We never knew one another.
Drop Snatch – fast . . . Fast . . . FAST! Think SPEED, always speed. Mentally split your idea of a second into many pieces. Grow confident. Move faster. Don’t agonize over form, it’ll come and can be improved upon once you get the feel of quick movement with a weight down pat. You'll get limber and more flexible over time without too much trouble. All the movements will come over time, so don't bust the joy by agonizing over form right off the bat. No cleaning. Just learning to get in those three positions mentioned until they're as solid as sitting in a chair comfortably, the overhead squats, and the drop snatch speed deal.
Standing Press Behind Neck – 2 x 12
Slight knee bend, fire that bar up with some leg drive and add weight whenever you can handle it. If your shoulders can't handle these, maybe Olympic-style lifts and exercises might not really be for you.
Bentover Barbell Row – 3 x 15
3 grip widths – medium, narrow, wide. Strong Contraction but you don't have to hold it at the top and practice your counting, just get a rhythm going and contract hard at the top. We'll save the math practice for another endeavor. Remember to bend over and stay bent over when you're doing this one.
Bench Press – 3 x 12
3 grip widths, medium, narrow, wide. Get Rhytmn and learn how to spell that crazy word on your off days. Not a powerlifting bench. Little if any arch. Your poundages won’t be the same for the different grips widths. Don’t agonize over ‘proper’ form.
Just lower the weight and drive it up in a rhythmic fashion. Let the bar follow its natural trajectory at this point. The three grip widths will naturally put the bar in different bottom positions. Simple. It’s all very simple for now.
Barbell Curl – 1 x 10
Gradually lean forward a little while going to top position, hard contraction. This style removes the 'dead spot' from a regular barbell curl. It's like using a cam without all the BS of a cam. You move your body to maintain solid tension at all points along the movement arc. Whatever that is. Hyper-bollocks arc be darned, just make sure you lean forward a little while lifting the bar to the top, and work on keeping the biceps tense the whole time you're curling. This one set of curls will give you a free introductory one time only opportunity to get comfortable with FEELING the target muscle and putting concentration on that target muscle. Or, heave ho a bar as heavy as you can lift off the floor and by any means possible direct it to somewhere around the top position of a 'curl'. Better yet, get someone else to do the curling for you, 'cause you'll get roughly the same benefits. Well, you won't get the messed up elbows and attachments but think of the money you'll save on laundry!
Squat – 2 x 15
3 breaths before EVERY rep. Make each inhalation more than full and every exhalation loud enough to be annoying to anyone in hearing distance. Open the windows and try to irritate passersby. You get it, I'm certain. The breathing here matters A LOT, as does the length of time you have that heavy bar across your shoulders being lifted up and down with every deeeeeeep breath and exhalation. First set Oly high bar to full depth, Second set High Bar Power squat to parallel and no lower, but don't widen your stance
too too much. It's the depth you're squatting to here that's mainly the thing. Again, don’t agonize over ‘proper’ form. At this point in the little game just let your body lift the weights through the movement. Don't be concerned with contorting yourself into some shape because that's what a 600 lb. squatter recommends on boobtube. That is not this right now. Lift your weights and stop being anal.
Keep piling weight on the bar for both DEEP breathing, go-for-broke sets as if it really mattered in the grand scheme of things!!!
Alternate with: first set – breathing pullover; second set – Rader chest pull. 2 x 20
Semi-stiff Legged Deadlift – 1 x 15
Try real hard not to be stupid enough to hurt yourself. It's your last real exercise, so enjoy it as such. Keep your back neutral, not overly arched and not rounded. Don't go down too far and don't call bending forward a half inch exercising. If you need to be told that get a mental health checkup before continuing on with this little plan.
Plank for time. Or play with an ab roller for a while, until you've worked your tummy muscles nicely. Sorry to use technical terms. Research would indicate that use of technical or scientific terms in describing exercise motions . . . you fill in the rest, but it'll never be as funny as reality and we both know that.
Go far a long walk or a shortish light jog on two of your nonlifting days.
You can roll around on an overpriced hollow pipe or take alternate hot/cold sitz baths with a duck,goat or large crustacean for all I care. Do any other nonsense on the days off, but under no circumstances touch any kind of barbell, dumbbell or other resistance training thingee. Don't even think about them!
Eat real food like an adult. Three solid and consistent meals. No currently popular ‘lifesaving’ or 'live till everyone else is sick of the sight of you' diets.
No need to eat like an inconsiderate pig who believe Mother Nature's there to be gutted and then raped for the sake of your whims. No need for powders, potions or snake oil.
Steer clear of all extremes or get lost right now. If a person, a guy let's call this person, if a guy-person on a kinda limited budget can't afford the stuff for this course then it's not a course I want to have any part of. No one should be stopped from developing a fine all-round strong, supple, athletic body that looks good on the beach
and a strong mind simply because they don't have an excess of money. That won't be happening in this course ever. You may not get hee-uge as the childlike needle boobs but there's no reason you can't improve yourself a lot. A whole lot, realistically.
Life's too short to worry about longevity.
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Edited by Neander on 01-29-18 10:47 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.
Ain't if odd! 
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